


the blood cheats

by lyeon



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Accomplice Ending (Persona 4), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyeon/pseuds/lyeon
Summary: "Who do you think I am?" Yu says. "I wouldn't rat you out." His awareness of the blue glow pulsing just out of sight grows, and the certainty of some unfathomable progress being made settles deep in his bones.The quality of Adachi's surprise shifts. "Well, then. I appreciate it."
Relationships: Adachi Tohru/Narukami Yu, Adachi Tohru/Seta Souji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	the blood cheats

It's silly. It doesn't make sense at all. But something in him thrummed that first afternoon in Junes, sweat on the back of his neck cooling off rapidly in the air conditioned lobby.

Again, a week later.

"Cup ramen or something?" Adachi says. He rubs the back of his neck and looks off to the side. "I just get so exhausted after work."

That feeling low in Yu's stomach. What is it? Why him? It makes him open his mouth and invite Adachi over. An offer to cook something for him, this sloppy man in a poorly fitting suit. Ten years older than him with a hollow look in his eyes that doesn't quite match the tone of his voice or the awkward shyness on his face. Yu is gripped suddenly by the idea that there must be more. He can't tell what lies beneath Adachi's facade. He needs to know.

"I could cook for you," he blurts out. "If you don't mind."

Adachi is looking at him now. It's oddly silent, Yu thinks. He swallows once and stares right back.

"That would be interesting," Adachi replies.

But then the Junes theme song starts playing again and Adachi is smiling, laughing his offer off and changing the subject. He starts talking inanely about cute girls, his ex-girlfriends, his ideal type. 

There's nothing wrong with what he's saying, nothing worse than the things that come out of Yosuke's mouth when he's in a mood. But something starts to itch in the back of Yu's head, where the Jester arcana had first lit up in a flurry of blue sparks and an eerie glow. 

What's the difference between a jester and a fool? One is an act, and the other isn't.

There's something important here, Yu thinks, letting his gaze settle on where Adachi's loosened tie hangs below his open collar instead of meeting his eyes. Something important. He shouldn't lose sight of it.

* * *

Yu goes to Junes more than he really needs to. There's nowhere else to go in this town, is there? Yosuke and Teddie are there, anyway, and Nanako loves it. It's perfectly reasonable as a place to pass the time. 

But every time he steps into the air conditioned lobby he turns to his left and lets his eyes snag on the corner between the lifts and the full length windows, where the sunlight filters through the thick glass and falls onto — nothing. There isn't anyone there. 

He tells himself it's not embarrassing if nobody knows about it. But this only lasts until the housewife who sells him seeds for Dojima's garden gives him a knowing look that makes him want to flinch.

"Are you looking for the detective?" she asks kindly.

"Oh, no," Yu says. "No, I'm not." He clutches the paper packet of tomato seeds she'd given him in his hands, the neatly folded edges crumpling loudly as he shoves it into his bag.

"I haven't seen him today, or yesterday in fact. But it's so hot outside, maybe he'll be in later…" she trails off, distracted by another customer, while Yu smiles tightly at the ground and leaves.

He heads home after that, and spends the afternoon sweating in his uncle's backyard garden. It _is_ hot — she had been right about that after all, even if she absolutely wasn't right about anything else.

Yu sits back on the brick ledge around the small vegetable patch, staring at what he has grown. The eggplants he planted weeks ago have started to turn black and the sight of them gives him a prickle of disgust in his gut.

It's surprising, that's all. The plants seemed to be doing well a few days ago, hadn't they? The ones he's harvested before always managed to make Nanako clap her hands in delight: armfuls of smooth melons, plump tomatoes and golden wheat.

Yu plucks one of the vegetables from the ground and sighs, turning it over in hands. it doesn't look too bad. Maybe if he just cut out the discoloured parts and chopped the rest up to fry it wouldn't be too obvious.

He stares down at the misshapen lump for a while, then slowly presses against its swollen middle. The thin discoloured skin starts to tear where his nail pushes into it, but soon the whole area caves in under the pressure, his thumb sinking into the white flesh.

It's softer than he expected. Maybe it had gone bad after all.

* * *

Something sticks in the back of Yu's mind as he sits with Daisuke and Kou at Aiya's, long after their beef bowls had gone dry.

Daisuke has been ribbing Kou about girls ever since Yu remembered to bring up Ai's request, while Kou stubbornly crossed his arms and turned his nose up at Daisuke's prodding until Daisuke gave up. The conversation falls to a lull as both of them turn to him, expectant.

"Well then," Daisuke says. "What about you?"

"Me?" Yu looks down at the oily residue in his bowl, letting his hair fall over his eyes even as a nameless unease settles in his stomach.

He would like to leave soon, actually. He'd meant to finish folding the latest batch of envelopes in his room, and then squeeze in some time to go over his latest lesson plan for Shu before bed.

But Yu's been skipping basketball training lately. He's been trying to get Sayoko to open up to him, though the thought of going down to the hospital always exhausts him so completely that he ends up coming straight home after school and sleeping like the dead until he has to leave for his shift.

He dreams of running up and down the darkened hospital corridors, wind whistling in his ears while other figures roam just out of sight. Round the corner he catches a glimpse of someone standing by a closed door with a glowing arcana card floating above their head. There's something wrong, he can feel it, and he tries to call out, but—

The point is. He didn't have the heart to turn Daisuke down when he asked him to join them.

Kou laughs. "Come on man, you don't need to pretend. You know plenty of girls. most of them aren't even from your class."

"Do I?" Yu says. "I haven't thought much about it, I guess."

It's not like he hasn't been forced to think about this before. Yosuke has hounded him often enough, but for some reason he'd always gotten the feeling Yosuke was never really interested in his answer.

"Hello, earth to Narukami." Daisuke looks at him. "Are you still here?"

"Sorry, I was still thinking about it," he replies, off beat. "There really isn't anyone, honestly."

"Nobody at all?" Kou says, sounding almost disappointed. "Well, that's fine."

"You'll tell us when you find someone, won't you? I'll bet it'll be before this guy for sure," Daisuke says, slapping Kou on the back.

"That's rich, coming from you!"

They part ways after that, Kou and Daisuke heading towards the north end of the shopping district while Yu walks down to the bus stop, still replaying the conversation in his head.

He's had feelings for other people before, even if he hasn't dated much. But that was back in Tokyo, where it didn't feel like everyone already knew who he was by sight if not by name. If he got together with anyone in Inaba it would be news across town within days, as if he didn't stick out enough already.

Yu passes the drunk salarymen in front of the pub, thinking vaguely of soft hands, bare necks and heat running down his spine, trying to match the imagined sensations to a familiar face — until he walks right into a very warm, solid someone in front of the gas station.

"Whoa!" the person says loudly, reeling backwards and grabbing his arm for balance. "Hey, it's you!"

"Sorry — are you alright?" Yu's eyes widen when he gets a better look at who he collided with. "Oh. hello, Adachi-san."

"It's fine, it's fine. Sorry for grabbing you," Adachi says, letting go of the vice grip he had on Yu's arm. "I just washed these pants, so it would have been bad if i landed in a puddle or something."

Yu's hand flits upwards, wanting to rub at where Adachi had let go. But he stops, wondering if it would seem impolite.

"You're out late. Won't Dojima-san want you back home by now?" Adachi continues, now tugging his tie back into place. Or not, Yu amends, since he seems to only pull it lower.

"I'm just on my way back after dinner," Yu says. "Are you still working?"

Adachi grimaces. His tie is completely undone now, Yu notices, loose ends hanging limply around his neck. It lets the unbuttoned collar of his crumpled white shirt fall open even further.

"You're lucky. I'm starving, but there's still some things to clean up before I can go. It's hot today, isn't it?" Adachi pushes his hair off his forehead. It makes the front stick up even more. "Well, I don't really have time to talk. You should head on home."

Then Adachi stands there, hands by his sides, looking at Yu. He doesn't seem to be busy with anything at all.

"Um, yeah. Hope you finish up soon then." Yu turns and waves goodbye, even though they're standing right in front of each other.

Maybe it's the light, but he thinks he sees a slight smile forming in the shadows thrown over Adachi's face.

Adachi takes a step closer and places a hand on Yu's lower back — an infinitesimal pause — then pushes him forward.

"Off you go now. Tell Dojima-san I'm working hard, won't you?"

* * *

It's the middle of summer: beautiful, burning weather. And one of those days where everyone wants a piece of Yu's time.

He dodges Ayane on his way out of class, but he's barely exited the stairway on the first floor when Ai spots him and demands that he go to Okina with her. He turns her down — there's exams coming and he needs to study, sorry — and ignores the annoyed sounds she makes at him as he leaves.

Then Rise tries to corner him outside the first year classrooms, while Yukiko smiles shyly as she asks if he wants to join her in the library. 

He can't— he can't.

The guilt surges when Yukiko stops meeting his eyes, the sudden realisation of her impending rejection written clear on her face. But there's no way he can say yes to her today, no matter how much he feels like he's falling behind. It's a far cry from how bad he knows he will feel if he finds himself trapped here for the rest of the day.

"I'm sorry, today's not good for me," he tells her. When Yukiko looks up again she's smiling again, which only makes him feel worse. 

She looks at him for a moment, concern clear on her face. "I hope you feel better soon, Yu."

He nods without thinking about it and takes a hard right out of the school gates, leaving the rising dread behind. He feels Izanagi stir at the back of his mind, wielding its sword and slashing away until all he has left is quiet. He barely even notices when he finds himself across town, crossing the road over to Junes.

Dojima does his best, but there isn't much to cook in the house if Yu doesn't buy it himself. It'll be fine, he reasons, if he takes some time to pick up groceries. He can even get ingredients to make lunch for tomorrow. It wouldn't be wasted time.

The front doors of Junes slide open as Yu approaches. he stands for a moment just inside the threshold and lets the cold air wash over him, a relief from the July heat.

"Yu-kun?" comes a voice from his left. He startles, eyes blinking open. 

It's Adachi.

"Oh, it is you. Hot, isn't it? i just ducked in here to escape the heat. You here to buy something?"

Yu lets his hand drop from where he'd been trying to unbutton the collar of his school uniform, damp with sweat from the walk over, and takes a moment to process everything Adachi said.

"Yeah, just some groceries. We're running low at home."

"Mind if I join you?" Adachi asks. "I can pick up some stuff too. Like vegetables, I just never know what to look out for."

"You're an expert at cabbages though, right?" Yu replies, wincing internally at the lilt in his voice when he says it.

"Did I tell you that? You remembered, huh." Adachi laughs, the sound low and warm. "Dojima-san won't stop nagging about my diet. Says I need to set a good example for Nanako-chan."

He grins, mouth turning up at the corners, and Yu finds himself smiling back. It doesn't matter, suddenly, that Yu had blown off his friends. It doesn't matter his exams are a week away and he's barely touched his books at all, or that he's neglected his part time jobs in favour of folding the endless stacks of envelopes in his room every night.

It's just that — the repetitive movements help. It's not complicated like folding cranes, or building a model. But he can still tell himself he's being diligent — he's even earning money — and no one can fault him for neglecting them, or for doing nothing. Even if the only thing he's actually making is the same four folds, over and over and over, until his head quiets down enough for him to finally go to bed.

In the same way, something in Yu calms as he pushes the shopping cart slowly past the refrigerated aisles, listening Adachi to go on a spiel about food and work and being bored out of his mind, stuck doing grunt work in a sleepy town. 

"If it wasn't for the murders, I wouldn't have anything to do here at all," Adachi grumbles. Then he stops abruptly and turns around to face Yu, still holding an armful of cling-wrapped corn to his chest.

"Don't tell Dojima-san I said all this though. Wouldn't want him to think I hate working with him, or something. Because I don't!"

Doesn't Dojima already know what Adachi thinks of this place? Nothing that has come out of his mouth has been surprising. But maybe if they met that old woman here again, he would get to see Adachi's mask fall away for another glimpse of the half-formed, hidden thing beneath — for the fog obscuring him from view to simply melt away.

"Of course not," Yu says. His awareness of the blue glow pulsing just out of sight grows, and the certainty of some unfathomable progress being made settles deep in his bones. "Who do you think I am? I wouldn't rat you out."

The quality of Adachi's surprise shifts. "Well then, I appreciate it."

In any case, Yu understands. Sometimes you just need to let everything spew out. It doesn't really matter how ugly it is, if you find the right person to tell it to. Someone who doesn't expect anything more from you. Someone who can see through what you've actually been trying to do all this time, no matter how you try to obscure it, even to yourself.

Then, a light pressure on his shoulder. A hand on his hand. Izanagi flickers and flares, and for the briefest moment he sees a mirror image of his own persona garbed in blood red and black looming above him.

There's a thrill that surges up his spine as he widens his stance on reflex, reaching for the glittering card he instinctively knows will materialise above his forehead. But his hand passes through nothing — and it's just Adachi, bemused, exactly where the other Izanagi had been in front of him.

"Are you alright?" The weight of Adachi's hand still on his shoulder. He's moved much closer, with a look of something like concern as he looks at Yu. "Is there anything else you need?"

Adachi's eyes are wide. This close Yu can see everything.

"Yeah — sorry about that," he replies. Adachi lets his hands fall away. "Let's go, then?"

* * *

Something shifts as the weather changes — the crackling heat of summer draining away to a thin, grey fog.

A day after rescuing Naoto, Yu comes home and stops short in the hallway, loosely holding the strap of his schoolbag in his hand.

Adachi is there. He's sitting on the floor of Dojima's house, with blotches of colour high on his cheeks. His gaze has been locked on Yu ever since he stepped through the door.

"Have you eaten? There's sushi," Dojima says, waving half-heartedly at the spread laid out amid cans of beer in front of the tv. 

"We bought extra for you, big bro!" Nanako chimes in. "But Adachi-san is eating a lot, so you better come and eat too."

"Nanako-chan! That's not very nice of you." Adachi is swaying slightly, his voice too loud. "I'm just hungry. We've already kept a share for Yu-kun, see?" He flips over one of the flimsy plastic lids on the table, revealing the rows of slightly misshapen sushi lined up underneath.

Yu forces a smile and retreats to the kitchen to wash his hands. He doesn't know how he feels. The last time Adachi had been here was in July, sitting in the exact same spot with Yu across from him, sweating through the short sleeves of his school uniform.

But the mood is different this time, isn't it? There's a strain in the air he prays Nanako hasn't noticed.

Back then he'd invited Adachi for dinner two days in a row. The first night had left him feeling pleasantly warm and full, laughing as Adachi and Nanako bickered over stew. So Yu hadn't thought much about asking him over again he saw Adachi the next day, though it's clear in hindsight that he should have.

("Are you studying? Students need to study," Adachi says. He's holding a cigarette in one hand, face lit harshly by the deadening glow from the gas station lights.

"Well, yeah, of course," Yu says. "My grades aren't too bad—"

Adachi cuts him off. "Want me to tutor you?" He's still turned away from Yu, eyes looking off into the mid-distance. It makes Yu feel — something.

"Um. Sure?"

Irritation flashes over Adachi's face, which Yu doesn't understand. He offered, didn't he?

"Did that completely fly over your head? I've forgotten everything I learned in high school," Adachi mutters. Yu flushes, embarrassed, and is just about to call it off entirely when Adachi suddenly relents. "Well, fine. I'll say hi to Nanako-chan, at least. Dojima-san probably won't be back tonight."

He drops the remainder of his cigarette on the ground and stomps it out without another word. They walk in silence back to the house, the only sound between them Adachi's off tune humming while Yu paces two steps behind him.

Yu stares at the line of Adachi's shoulders from behind, the way the ends of his hair brush the top of his shirt collar, and how strands at the top bounce as he walks. It would be funny, he thinks, if it wasn't for the anger and confusion splintering through him. What did he do wrong? Nothing was different from the day before. And yesterday had been fine, hadn't it?

When they reach a traffic junction, Adachi doesn't even turn around to check that he's going the right way. He walks unerringly until they get to Dojima's front gate — Yu trailing pathetically, silently — before Adachi finally steps aside in front of the house to let Yu open the door.

Later, Yu can feel himself sulking through dinner, which annoys him more than Adachi's behaviour itself. When he mutters under his breath at the detective's suggestion for Nanako to cut corners, Adachi puts on a flustered show about Dojima finding out. He would feel bad about it, if the memory of being thoroughly ignored earlier wasn't still burning like ice under his skin.

"Do you want a flower, big bro? Adachi-san drew one for me."

Nanako holds out her book report proudly, showing off Adachi's pink squiggle in the bottom corner. 

To his surprise Adachi takes his hand without warning from where it had been resting in his lap before he can answer, grasping it in both of his own. Adachi's fingers are slim and cold. Yu looks down at where their hands meet.

"Well, Yu-kun?" Adachi is rubbing his thumb over the centre of Yu's palm, and it feels like it's on fire. "What about you?"

"No—" He jerks his hand back to his chest. Adachi is looking at him. "No, I don't want one." 

"That's okay," Adachi says lightly. "Is something bothering you, though? Not saying it has to be me, but you'll probably feel better if you talk to someone about your problems." Adachi laughs at this. "Maybe it's hard to believe, but adults do know better, sometimes…"

Abruptly there's a crack in the air and a loud hum in both of Yu's ears. Dojima's living room is briefly awash in a blue glow and a shimmering rectangle materialises above Adachi's head. Yu catches a glimpse of a dancing figure on the card and Margaret's voice whispering in his ears before it disappears in a shower of sparks, returning the room to normal.

"Sorry — what did you say? I wasn't paying attention," he says, stumbling over the words. But neither Nanako nor Adachi seemed to have noticed anything, and the night simply rolls on.)

Yu reaches for a piece of sushi. Dojima has already left, but Adachi is still drinking, now a solid heat leaning heavily against Yu's side.

"You know the problems it could cause if something happened, right?" Adachi says, head lolling back onto Yu's shoulder. His voice is pitched low, as if purring directly into Yu's ears. "Like if it happened you were mixed up in it, we'd be real worried..."

Yu freezes. Does he know? Impossible. But there's something about the way he spoke — a thrumming sensation down his spine, now pulled taut and ready to snap. Danger is coming — from where?

Suddenly Adachi, already unsteady, tips forward and slumps over the table. Yu thinks he must have imagined his dead, wide-eyed stare, because he's already breaking into a grin, stray hand falling on Yu's thigh and squeezing.

"Trust us," Adachi says, "Trust me," and all Yu can hear is his own heart pounding in his ears.

* * *

In November, Nanako is gone and the house is silent and Yu sits on the floor, shaking.

* * *

"But you're with me, right?"

Adachi leaves. Yu is left alone in a room where nothing is on fire, but everything is burning. 

He thinks about the acid green lighter still on the table, the way Adachi's face had twisted as he laughed, and what Yosuke would say if he ever heard Adachi call him partner.

There's no turning back now.

* * *

The fog is thicker than it's ever been when it's finally time for Yu to leave. Dojima drives him to the station to drop him off without getting out of the car. 

At least his friends accompany him to the platform. Rise even hugs him before he goes. He can smell the shampoo she uses when she wraps her arms around him, and pretends not to see the tears in her eyes when she lets go.

Kanji is gruff as Chie hands him a package full of snacks, while Yukiko gives him a handwritten letter and tells him to stay in touch. Yosuke and Naoto never quite meet his eyes. 

He doesn't say anything, of course. He would rather they assume he's trying to be stoic, instead of desperately fighting the bouts of shrieking laughter that threaten to claw their way out of his throat.

* * *

Yu doesn't call when he's back in Tokyo, but Adachi does. They fall into a rhythm after a while, just like everything else. Late in the evening, Adachi would call him and demand things.

It's never anything Yu can't actually provide. Sometimes Adachi wants proof: recordings, photographs, a video. Some evidence of his own control when Yu's word alone isn't enough to quiet whatever lives hissing and clawing inside Adachi's skull.

(He remembers the Jester arcana's gleeful scream when it last manifested at the police station. The sound of something being torn apart, devoured limb by limb by an inhuman hunger under the surface all along.

Yu knows by now. It's not that he never noticed the way the Jester personas had felt in his mind: somehow stretched too long, too thin, too sharp. The curve of Baphomet's black horns scalding hot under his palms. That gaping hole in the side of Chernobog's cheeks. The thick dark liquid that dripped from the twitching tendrils framing Kumbhanda's face.

He used to want to reach out and touch the glimmering mane of Pale Rider's white house, though he never quite dared. Now he wonders if he might have gotten his hands torn clean off.)

Other times Adachi only wants him to listen as he rants and raves, spitting in his ear and making him wince. The sound of his breathing gets distorted over the phone, both too loud and too far away all at once.

In that way their calls are always the same. But in the in-between times when Adachi hasn't called, the buzzing in his head would grow louder and louder and louder until he's on the verge of calling Yosuke— Dojima— anyone—

Then his phone would ring again. The Junes slogan chimes for eternity in his head. Yu would pick up, listen to the Adachi's voice on the other side, and do whatever he told him to do until the roaring static quieted down.

* * *

It takes him months to bring himself to ask Adachi for anything. He only ever does it once. 

"Spit it out," Adachi says, tone flat. As if he could tell what was coming over the phone, even from miles and miles away.

"Can I—" His heart is pounding. "Can I call you Tohru?"

Yu's voice is so, so small, but once the words leave his lips he's left with a sinking dread. Adachi starts laughing, the sound in his ears cold and cruel.

"Tohru? Seriously? Nobody calls me that, idiot."

It's practically nothing, but the rejection makes Yu feel like he's been struck across the face. He closes his eyes against the sensation of hot tears running down his cheeks. He tries to think of Izanagi wielding its blade, standing tall, electricity pouring off its body in waves…

"Fine. Since you begged for it, go ahead." ("I didn't," Yu wants to say. "I didn't beg, I just asked, like anyone would. I just wanted—") 

The sword comes crashing down, but it's too late. His Izanagi is drenched in black and red.

"Is that it?" The disgust in Adachi's voice drips off the phone. "You know, I never understood why you kept coming to talk to me. I thought Dojima was on to something and he was sending you to keep an eye on me. But after Nanako…"

(Was that regret? There's a cold, sickening rage deep in Yu's chest at the thought of his cousin, but it's an emotion he's long forfeited the right to feel.)

"But he never even suspected, did he?" Adachi just sounds bored now, which is even worse.

"Anyway, I didn't think he would use his nephew like that. So if Dojima wasn't making you do it, then were you just doing it yourself? I knew you were friends with the detective kid, but you never asked me about the case.

"It was always just, have you eaten, Adachi-san? Are you done with work, Adachi-san? Would you like to come over, Adachi-san? It wasn't like you were trying to be subtle. I just wondered. Why me?"

He laughs. The sound is hideous.

"You have such awful taste, don't you?"

(Yu's skull is caving in. The skin is melting off his body. "If I knew why — I could have stopped myself. But I _didn't_ —")

He imagines Adachi: one hand dragging down the side of his face, the other closing tight around his neck. A phantom sensation floods down his back, and he shudders.

"I don't understand you at all. But it all worked out for me in the end."

**Author's Note:**

> i spent a lot of the lockdown playing p4g and close to a year later... i have this. thank you so much to K for helping to beta, and of course thank you for reading!


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